Where is Bertie?
by Loveedith
Summary: Edith is visiting her Grandmother at Downton Abbey
1. Granny

"Oh!" Violet Crawley murmured from her bed when her favourite granddaughter entered the room. "Have they sent for you all the way from Northumberland? Now I really know I am about to die."

"Nonsense!" Edith said. "I expect you to outlive us all."

That was of course nonsense, if anything was.

But Edith could see how haggard and emaciated the old woman looked. When you meet a person every day, or at least every week, you never notice that they are getting older. But now it was obvious to Edith. And it hadn't taken all that long either, when Edith had last met her Granny just a little more than a month ago, Lady Violet was still on her feet, interfering with everyone else's business.

Granny had even noticed Edith's third pregnancy then, although Edith was only a few month's into it and hadn't told anybody but Bertie about it yet.

"Oh well, time fore a spare after little Herbert I see", Violet had said then with a wry smile. "And he is - what - only ten months is he? I must say Bertie is keeping you busy."

That had made Edith blush, much to her own annoyance. Both because of the fact that Granny had noticed her belly and the thought of how busy Bertie and her kept each other in bed. They hadn't become any less eager to make love to each other now that the next heir of Brancaster was already born and crawling around the nursery, accompanied by his elder sister.

"Well, I can see that you are happy", Granny had said then, with a new knowing smile, noticing Edith's embarrassment. "So I'm certain Bertie is doing just the right thing."

That made Edith blush even harder. She really didn't want to discuss those things with her Grandmother.

So Edith had changed the subject to flowers, which was the first thing she thought about as they were then walking around in Grannie's lovely garden in the warm August sunshine.

...

But that was more than a month ago. Now it was late September, and most of the flowers were gone. And they were inside, in Grannie's bedroom, Granny barely able to sit up in bed supported by a big number of cushions.

"I really hope I won't outlive anyone of you", Violet said with a sigh. "It would be dreadful. I wouldn't be able to stand it."

Edith could hardly recognise her strong Grandmother in the birdlike woman in the bed. And she understood why her parents had sent for her. They were saying that Violet was feeling downcast and feeble, and didn't even want to get out of bed, having all her meals there. Or rather not eating very much at all.

But the doctor couldn't find anything wrong with her. It was probably only old age, he had said. Getting older is difficult for all of us.

"Perhaps you can cheer her up", Papa had said on the phone. "She has always been very fond of you."

...

So Edith had taken time off and gone down to Downton, bringing little Herbert with her. Marigold had started in the village school at Brancaster, so she had to be left behind.

"Where is Bertie?" Granny had said next, looking worriedly around the room. "I really do need to speak to him. It is very important."

That was the moment Edith realised that her Granny was perhaps really going to die. She had never before objected to Edith coming to visit on her own, or only with the children.

And she had never exchanged anything but polite small talk with Bertie.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment! I haven't written anything here for quite a long time, so I do need some encouragement.


	2. The Phone

"Is this an instrument of communication or torture?"

Edith remembered her Granny saying that, a long time ago. Granny had been shouting into the very same telephone as Edith was now about to call Bertie on. The telephone was from before the war, but Papa had never liked to exchange things that were still functioning.

When was that? It must have been during the war...

Oh yes, Edith remembered it now. It was when Matthew had returned wounded, and William, who had saved Matthew's life, had ended up in a hospital in Leeds, far from his family and friends. And Edith had offered to nurse him. But the doctors hadn't wanted to let him out of that hospital.

Granny was trying to call Uncle Schrimpie at the time, to get him to help them get William released from the hospital, so they could bring him home to Downton. It was probably the first time ever that Granny was using the phone, although they had had it for several years by then. Granny was afraid of new things - she had even been afraid of electricity.

Edith smiled at the memory, just like she had smiled at the time. She had always found her Granny a bit amusing, even when she herself was just a little girl. Edith had never been afraid of Granny, like Papa and Mama and perhaps even Mary had been. Edith had always been able to see that glimpse of humour behind her Grannie's imposing ways.

Perhaps Edith was like Granny, just from another generation. Edith had never thought that before, but perhaps that was what had given her the toughness to get her through life. That thought made it even harder to take in the fact that Granny soon would be gone...

Edith had needed that toughness...Being considered the ugly sister, being jilted, being left pregnant, almost having to give up her child, having to fight to get Marigold back, even in the end being left by Bertie. Because she had been scared to get his contempt for being a fallen woman, damaged goods and all the other ugly things that a woman in her situation was called...

...

The war - the war had been horrible. Well, of course it had, so many young men had been wounded and killed. Edith hoped that there would never be a war again.

But still - the war had made Edith a better person. It had made her feel useful. She had learnt that there were other things in life than changing clothes and chasing after a husband...

She had hardly thought about Sir Anthony during the war, although she had known he was out there, and of course hoped he would come back safely. She hadn't even thought about getting even with Mary for chasing him away. She hadn't cared much about Mary during the war...

She had had more important things to do than that, and nursing William during his last days had only been one of them.

And when the war was over - she should have felt happy - but she had only felt lost...

...

And Bertie - he had been out in the war too. He had been out there during the whole war, and he had stayed safe all that time, seeing more men than he could even count die around him. He had told her that he sometimes felt guilty about being spared when so many others were hurt or killed.

Edith really should have prayed for Bertie's safety during the war, she knew that now, but she didn't even know him then. And now she could feel Bertie's second child kicking in her belly, while the first one was sleeping soundly in Downton's nursery. Things were rather awsome...

Edith hesitaded with the receiver in her hand. She wanted to call Bertie and tell him how much she loved him, the way she did every evening when she was away from him.

But this time was different. She had to ask him to come. Granny had wanted to talk to him, and Edith had no idea why.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the nice reviews! And thank you for still being with me.


	3. The Baby

The next morning, when Edith went to see her Granny again, she was bringing little Herbert with her, hoping that the sight of her smallest great-grand-son would cheer the old woman up.

Little Herbert was at his best behaviour - at least as far as a ten months old baby can behave - smiling sweetly at the old woman in bed, gurgling and prattling. He was sitting rather contentedly in his mother's lap for a while, before he wanted to get down on the floor to practise some of his newest abilities - standing up on his feet, leaning against his mother's chair and then letting go for a few seconds.

Edith was fascinated by her child's new skills. Very soon little Herbert would learn how to walk, she knew. She was happy about it, but also felt a pang of sadness. She hadn't witnessed Marigold's first steps, the little girl had still been with the Drewe's at the time.

...

To Edith's annoyance Granny wasn't a bit interested in looking at the sweet little boy. The old woman was weak, but not weak enough not to be able to complain.

"When I said I had to talk to Bertie, I didn't mean that Bertie", she said in a feeble but grumbling voice.

"I know", Edith said, doing her best not to sound irritated. "Of course I know. And we don't even call this little one Bertie, just Bert for short. Not to have the two of them mixed up."

"Well", Granny said. "Is Bertie coming? I hope you told him I wanted to see him?"

"Of course I did. Bertie has promised to come, but you know it is a long journey, and he had some things to take care of before he went. He will be here the day after tomorrow, you will have to make do with me until then."

Edith hesitated for a moment, she was afraid that what she would say next would offend her Granny.

"Perhaps you could tell me what is worrying you instead? For the time being?"

"Of course not!" Granny was indeed offended. "I wouldn't have asked for Bertie to come if I could do that."

With that the old woman closed her eyes and fell asleep, quite exhausted.

Edith sat for a while and looked at her sleeping Granny. Then she picked up her little boy and went out of the door. She would leave Herbert at Downton's nursery when she visited her Granny again in the afternoon.

...

When Edith had called Bertie the evening before he had in fact been quite reluctant to come down to Downton to see Edith's Granny. It had taken Edith quite some persuasion to get him to agree to do so.

Truth be told, he was a little afraid of the imposing old lady and didn't like to be singled out by her like that. He couldn't understand what the old woman could possibly want to see him about. But he had heard how worried Edith was about her Granny, so he decided that he had better go down there to be with his wife and support her if the worst should happen to the old woman. He knew how close Edith and Violet had always been to each other.

Besides, Edit's Granny would probably only want to tell him to take good care of Edith. Which he had every intention to do anyhow.

What else could it possibly be?

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! And thank you for the lovely comments to last chapter!


	4. Bertie

"Bertie!"

The old lady was half-lying, half-sitting in bed, propped up by a lot of cushions.

"So you have come at last! It's upon time, it is lucky I'm still alive", she grumbled.

Bertie hadn't expected a greeting like that - or perhaps that was exactly what he had. But he was also shocked about how thin and tired Edith's Granny had become.

He had arrived to Downton just an hour earlier, kissed his wife, played with his son, throwing him up in the air until the little one screamed with delight and Edith told him to be careful. Then he had got a quick snack - the dinner would be on in a few hours - after which he and Edith had left for the Dovager's house in their car.

"Good afternoon", he said now to the old woman who really looked very much more unwell than when he had last seen her. "Pleased to see you. I'm sorry to hear that you are not feeling well."

"Not feeling well?" Violet retorted. "I guess that is a way to put it."

Edith was trying to make her Granny more comfortable, putting the covers tidier around her, puffing up the cushions.

"Edith, please! Don't fuss! I have told you I need to speak to _Bertie_. Please leave us alone for a while."

With that Violet reached for the bell and rang for Pratt. When he arrived she asked him to get a cup of tea out for Lady Edith downstairs, and also bring up a cup to the bedroom for Bertie.

...

When Edith had left them after a last look of apology to Bertie, Violet started talking again.

"Well, first I want to say that I'm glad you are here at last."

Violet smiled at the man in the chair beside her, the kind and gentle Marquess that her darling Edith had managed to secure for herself. Bertie looked a bit uneasy, she noticed.

"Thank you, I'm happy to be here", Bertie said, although it was obvious to Violet that he wasn't. "And I'm glad if I can be of any help to you." That part of it sounded more believable. Especially since he smiled when he said it.

"And I also have to say that Edith is very lucky to have you", Violet added. "You are a very special man."

Bertie looked down at his hands, feeling quite a bit embarrassed. She had managed to make him blush.

...

"I never thought men like you existed", Violet added. "I certainly never met any one like you when I was young, I can say that much."

"I'm nothing special", Bertie said. "Edith is. I am the one who is lucky."

He was quit for a moment, then he added:

"I love Edith. I love her so much. And now she has given me a wonderful little son as well as her wonderful little daughter that she has let me be the father of."

"And there is another one to be expected, I've heard." Violet said with a feeble but cunning smile.

She had manged to make Bertie blush again.

"The new one will not be much younger than little Herbert", she added, with another cunning smile.

Bertie's was stunned. Was this some kind of critisism? Did she think that two pregnancies so soon after each other were going to be too much for Edith?

But he couldn't really believe he was hearing this. That Edith's Granny summoned him from Northhumberland to discuss birth control? Was this what it had been all about?

Bertie really couldn't discuss things like this with Edith's Granny. Or with anyone else than Edith, come to that. And Edith herself thought they ought to get the children they wanted before it was too late. So they had both been very happy when she was expecting again so soon after little Herbert was born.

None of this was anybody else's business. Bertie was searching for a polite way to say so without offending the old lady - she was Edith's Granny after all and apart from that she probably didn't have very long left to live. He didn't want to upset her.

Perhaps it was best to just let her go on talking. Let her say whatever she had to say and then ignore the parts he didn't like. That was usually a good idea when he was dealing with his own mother...

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the nice comments to last chapter!


	5. For the Best

When Bertie had agreed to see Edith's granny he hadn't expected her to discuss Edith's new pregnancy and its closeness to the one before with him. Now that she had started doing that, he kept quiet and braced himself against what the old lady would say next.

He half expected - and very much feared - it would be something like: "Don't you know there is a thing called family planning?"

But of course Bertie knew about that. Just like most Englishmen did in these modern and enlightened times. He had read Marie Stopes, like everybody else had - at least those of the younger generations.

Both _Married Love_ and _Wise Parenthood_.

But he very much doubted that Edith's Grandmother had read those rather new books. She had probably got all her knowledge of human reproduction from the talk her mother had given her on the night before her wedding.

"Close your eyes and think of England", perhaps.

But hopefully at least something a little bit better and more enlightening than that, Bertie thought.

...

In the end it turned out that Bertie had had no reason to worry. The next thing Lady Violet said was very far from reproof.

"You and Edith are very lucky I think", she said. "For some people it takes years after marriage to get just the one child. Congratulations!"

It took some moments before it sank in, then Bertie had to stop himself from heaving a sigh of relief.

"Thank you!" he said instead. "Yes, we both know that we are very lucky."

...

Violet was quiet for a while. It was obvious that talking had tired her.

Bertie took another sip of his tea, wondering why the old lady had sent for him.

Edith's Granny, who had always made Bertie a bit nervous, looked so small and vulnerable, lying like that, eyes closed, in her bed.

...

For a long while Bertie thought Lady Violet had fallen asleep, but then she opened her eyes again.

"I'm glad you are still here, Bertie", she murmured. "I have something very important to tell you, but I don't seem to have much strength left to do so."

Then she closed her eyes again.

"I once did something awful, you see", she murmured, eyes still closed. "I thought it was for the best when I did it, but I was wrong. But how could I have known that there were men like you in the world?"

She looked up remorsefully at Bertie now.

Bertie didn't know what to say or do. He was very uncertain of what she was really trying to tell him.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the nice comments to last chapter!


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